While running home from church today I had an epiphany. I love how God seems to meet me every time I’m out there – whether ‘there’ is barren, back-roads or fume-filled city streets.
He shows up, seems to say, “Hi. I’ve been waiting for you.” I feel His smile and am filled with His mutual excitement for what we are about to share. Like two giddy kids we go off on our adventure. I feel His power in my legs, His breath in my lungs and His inconceivable joy in my heart.
He then humbles, cajoles, comforts, encourages, confirms or directs – whatever my current heart condition may need.
Today, as I was listening to Todd Agnew’s CD, ‘Reflection of Something’, I was completely enraptured by the holy majesty and freeing presence of my God - my running companion. In the silence of a break between tracks my auditory senses became flooded with my own breathing pattern. (It was loud panting actually.) In that brief moment my mood, mind-set and focus shifted – and not for the better.
In that instant I shifted from thankful, joyous, confident, strong, capable and able to accomplish the challenging task at hand to doubtful, weary, concerned, self-focused and inadequate. The moment I heard the reality of my own panting I thought, “Listen to how hard I’m breathing. Wow, this must be really difficult. I must not be doing as well as I thought I was. Hey, I’m out of breath. I’m working too hard. I can’t do this. I don’t think I can make it the rest of the way.”
And then the music began.
Again, I was in His comfort, His hands, His ability.
That was the epiphany. I finally understood, I mean really understood, not only what worship is, but why I need it so desperately. When all of my senses are focused on all that He is, I become unaware of the facts of my own condition. The earthly reality of my emotional and physical state becomes inconsequential. Reality? Yes. A burden? No. A challenge? Yes. Insurmountable? No. Still dealing with flesh? Yes. But in the beauty of being utterly and completely engulfed in His presence the facts don’t matter. They don’t even seem to show up. They fade to indiscernible.
It’s all about Him; and in that, He takes care of all of us.
When focused on me; my problems, my issues, my tasks and my burdens, the only sound I hear is the panting of my own breath; the only counsel I receive is the discouragement of my own mind; the only strength I exhibit is bound to the limitations of my own body.
But in worship-in allowing my Self to be utterly taken over; in that position of absolute surrender; of showing up and saying, “Take Me. Please”, He breaks through the time constraints of the kingdom paradox and saves again what has already been saved, purifies what has already been purified, delivers what has already been delivered, and tenderly, powerfully, brings us to that heavenly experience of peace–right here –on earth.
Worship– it’s to Him; but it’s just like Him to make it for us.
Blessings, Linda Stevens
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